Medical vital signs are measurements, pulse rate, temperature, respiration rate, and blood pressure, that indicate the state of a patient's essential body functions. "Vital" here means "necessary."
But an alternate meaning of "vital" is "full of energy, lively." Interesting that the same word can imply either surviving or thriving, lived experiences that are completely different.
If surviving is good enough for you, standard medical procedure can help you out. But if you want to thrive, I suggest considering another important "vital sign:" your sex drive.
In my experience, my sex drive disappears when I am not thriving. I can survive for weeks, months, years, with no libido. Back in the day, I used to brush this off. "Oh well, I guess I'm not sexy. Besides, that's not a priority compared to this other stuff that's actually, really, very important." Sound familiar?
Boy, was I wrong. Looking back, I wish I had rearranged my priorities and put sex drive at the top of the list. When I nurture my sexuality, my whole life benefits. I glow from within. I'm happier, more relaxed, more resilient. I'm even more productive! My priorities are clear, so I stop wasting time on stuff that isn't important to me and put that energy into meaningful projects.
If your sex drive has disappeared (or never showed up in the first place), pay attention. Your body is telling you that it doesn't have what it needs to thrive - to be the awesomest, truest, most badass and bodacious version of yourself. Your body can survive, but with no sex drive it's ability to create is compromised.
Our ability to create is one of our most precious abilities.
If we cannot create, we live our lives according to whatever is pre-existing and readily available. Our behavior and opportunities and realities are a product of someone else's decisions. We play the role of pawns.
When we are connected to our creative flow, we call the shots. Our lives become brighter, more honest, more vibrant. We reclaim our agency. When we come across a problem with "no solution?" No biggie...we create one!
Women often fall into the trap of thinking that their sexuality is frivolous, when in fact it powers and propels their Love out into the world. By tending to our sexuality, we do the world a huge service - we conceive, carry, and birth a radiant woman. A radiant woman who is capable of creating the healthier, more vibrant future that the world so desperately needs.
We need more women like that. Don't you agree?
* * *
Pause. Take a deep breath, feel your body. If you like, take out a journal. Gently ask:
- How did this post land with me? What did it bring up?
- Can I relate to the experience of having a low sex drive? Does stress impact my sexuality some other way?
- What is my sex drive like these days?
- What has it been like over the years?
- When my sex drive is low or non-existent, how is the rest of my life?
- When my sex drive is strong and my sexuality is being nurtured, how is the rest of my life?
- Do I know what it means to nurture my sexuality? What images or thoughts does that concept conjure up?
- What tools do I have, if any, to nourish my sexuality and sensuality as an individual?
- Think of all the hopes and dreams you have for healing the world and making it a better place. Imagine trying to accomplish all that while having a dried up, brittle, anemic sexuality. Now imagine trying to accomplish all the same goals with vibrant, radiant, nourishing sexuality. How do both you and the world fare in the first scenario? The second?