When talking about my work I often get the comment, "Oh, but I'm single. I don't have a sex life."
Ah darling, yes, you do.
Partnered ladies also think they are disqualified from working with me, because "What about my partner...?"
Your sexuality doesn't start and end with someone else, chickadee. Far from it.
Let's define our terms, shall we?
Sexuality is often defined in vague, dry, and limiting terms that lead us to believe it has something to do only with naked people touching specific body parts ("the quality or state of being sexual," "the condition of having sex," "the capacity for sexual feelings.") It is so much more than that!
"The capacity for sexual feelings" is an inherent quality. We have it from infancy to the grave. It is with us and can be used to nourish ourselves in different ways throughout our lives, regardless of whether or not we have a partner. Your sexuality is YOUR OWN. Your sex life - the care and feeding of that sexuality - is also your own. You may choose to share it with others or not, but either way you can still have a radiant, nourishing relationship with your sexuality through a delicious sex life.
We are conditioned to believe that if we have a disappointing sex life, it is because of something external to us - lack of a partner, or a partner that is lacking. ;) But in reality we are the guardians and tenders of our own flames, and we can absolutely take the reins and have a great sex life regardless of the presence or absence of an ideal lover.
Isn't that awesome and freeing and empowering??? Phew!
Spirituality has a broad and varying definition. It is our connection to our souls, the immaterial part of ourselves, to Higher Power or the Divine, or the values by which we steer our lives. It is our connection to something bigger than us, an ultimate creative source that is full of wisdom and love and absent of flaws. It can be accessed in many ways, with religion being only one of many options. For me, it is about the magic and mystery of life, the je ne sais quoi.
In Western culture spirituality is typically divorced from sexuality due to a history of specific interpretations of Judeo-Christian thought. From these interpretations we get the ideas that sex can only be between a man and a woman, that sex is dirty or impure, that our sexual drives are things to be contained and restricted, that sex is only for making children, and, most importantly, that women's sexuality is dangerous and bad and to be controlled at all costs. (No wonder we don't have robust models for caring for our sexuality...)
The good news is that these interpretations do not need to define our lives. You can choose a different interpretation of sexuality that is empowering and nourishing, regardless of your religion or lack thereof.
Isn't that also awesome and freeing and empowering??? Phew again!
Creativity, like sexuality, is often defined in narrow ways. "Oh, I don't know how to draw, I'm not creative." "Oh, I can't go to your craft party, I'm not creative." Bull-honky. Creativity is the act of making something. Every decision we make is a creative act. Our decisions are the medium through which we create our lives: precious works of art if there ever was one. All humans are innately creative, and whether they use that creative power to be a soldier or engineer or artist or writer does not make them any more or less "creative" than anyone else.
Since you are a big-hearted woman who wants to heal the world, my dearie, you absolutely need to be flexing your creative muscles. How can you create solutions for this world if you know nothing about creating???
Sexuality, spirituality, creativity: what do all these things have to do with each other?
Sexuality is where we learn from Spirit how to be Creative.
Not how to create in a limited human way, but how to create in an unlimited Divine way. Sex and sexuality are the magical, messy cauldron in which we constantly conceive, carry, and birth our best selves, over and over again. It is how we align ourselves with Life Force. It is the altar upon which we rest our broken hearts, our dreams for a better world, and whisper "Love, show me how to heal, how to create a better world."
At times like these, sensitive big-hearted women who want to heal the world can panic and put themselves last, last, last. Like chickens with their heads cut off, they try to take care of everyone but themselves and end up drained and depleted and cranky and definitely not being the change they wish to see in the world. They let their beautiful sensuality shrivel, and their sexuality shut down.
That is a huge mistake.
The answers you want, the strength you require, that Love of yours the world so desperately needs will be much harder to access if you are in a body that is cut off from the fuel of Spirit and the innovation of Creativity. Turbulent times are exactly the times to actively engage with and cultivate a sacred sexuality. Become a woman who can keep herself fueled and re-charged in rough waters and you become a powerful woman indeed.
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Take a deep breath. Feel into your body. Let all this settle...
If you wish, pull out a journal and ask yourself, Do I feel sexually radiant now? How would being sexually radiant change my life? How can healing my sexuality support me in doing my Sacred Work on this earth?